Empty facilities during training at Reds HQ
The Reds training and playing roster has been decimated by their Richmond fan’s blind faith in their team’s finals record.
The Reds playing coach has been befuddled by the recent excuses from some of his charges for not making themselves available for training or practice matches this season.
‘As a coach you get a few ‘dog ate the homework’ excuses for missing out and you take those as a given. We aren’t playing for sheep stations after all’
But the recent hubris from the Tiger section of his playing group has given him cause for concern.
‘Honestly, there’s been some pretty loose conversations at the Reds, especially after big wins or heavy losses. Sport draws passion and emotion’
‘But dear me, this is something out of the box. These Tigers fans have me worried.’
One Yellow and Black Red was unavailable for the Grand Final Day public holiday intra club practice match because ‘I’ll be at the Grand Final Parade that day’
The coach was flabbergasted ‘I mean, I like the guy but he’s missing the fact they’ve won three finals in thirty years and they still have to play the Giants’
Pre-season form for the Tiger fans at the Reds is stark; there isn’t any.
‘Not one Tigers fan has made it to training or been available for a practice game’
Given the Tigers record for duffing finals and the general milieu of a Tigers loss, the coaching staff are concerned.
‘I mean, heaven forbid, they should lose – what will we end up with?’ Said the high performance coach, a Swans fan.
‘Cricket is tough enough technically, but that level of anguish that close to our season starting could be catastrophic’
One Tiger fan was reached for comment, speaking from his tent at the MCG where he has been lining up for Grand Final Tickets since September 10th.
‘The coaches at the Reds can get stuffed’ he said
‘If they want me to come to some useless net session 10 days before we win our first flag in my lifetime, they’re very much mistaken’
It seems that the Reds Tigers fans are unlikey to be available for Rounds 1-3 at this point.
‘Mate, did you see what we did to Geelong?’ Said a top order bat and Tiger fan.
‘I’m going to be out of action for at least a month after the Grand Final’
The final word was left to the Reds most ardent Tigers fan ‘Mate, we get to see The Killers as pregame entertainment as well. It’s going to be awesome.’
‘And Adelaide can get stuffed if they think we are going to wear our clash strip’
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