Joe Loh MVP 'The Greatest Thing Ever'
Date of Event : Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:24PM
Joe Loh MVP and Club Presdient

Royal Park Reds Club President Joe Loh is officially the only Cricket Club President to win the MVP in a Grand Final and has been awarded the ‘Greatest Ever Grand Final Performance’ Award, by himself.


In what can only be described as a departure from the values of the inner city egalitarian club, Club President Joe Loh has declared himself the greatest finals player the club has produced in its history.


His 45 runs at number 3 was adjudged the top performance of the 2017 Grand Final despite the bowling performance of Vince Muscat to secure the wine.


Club Members have been bizarrely passive in their acceptance of this award that Loh has continued to present himself on a daily basis. 


Many club members have repeated prepared lines from the Great Leader,
‘The best inside-out chipped cover drive over gully in history’ said one member from behind cold, lifeless eyes.


‘The Great Leader secured us the victory by taking the game on in the early stages and from there we were never headed’ another recited.


When pushed both sources mysteriously uttered ‘The Great Leader is the source of truth’ and scurried away towards nearby bushes. Neither have returned calls.
A club insider has recently broken ranks by requesting a clearance to another club. They spoke with me from a secure location under the condition of anonymity.


‘Mate, this is starting to get scary’ the insider said of conditions around the club.
‘Players have heard about every shot so many times that they are accepting that this wasn’t a fluke at all but the greatest thing in the history of everything’


Loh’s tactic seems to be to draw each part of conversation back to his Grand Final performance to create a dystopian alternate reality that players eventually accept as part of their cricketing landscape.


‘We were told that we’d never have any awards’ the insider said
‘But he keeps walking around with his medals on to remind everyone.’


‘He’s got the place brainwashed; players are walking around training saying “four runs good, two runs bad” and other nonsense.’


Communication with The Great Leader has been erratic at best. An official memorandum was communicated from the Joe Loh’s twitter account;


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Last updated: Monday August 14, 2017 3:26PM
Author: Tooms

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