Still need an AFL fix? An exclusive release from the inner sanctum of the Royal Park Reds offers a glimpse into the inner city club's attitude to the 2017/18 Premiership tilt for the AFL Sevens Tournament they host.
As Titus O'Reily fades into beige obscurity by being forced to awkwardly interview footballers not nearly as clever as he is for a living, the Reds unleash their own mysterious scribe and acerbic wit to bring you the clearest picture of the AFL off-season primordial ooze that is the Tuesday Night AFL Sevens comp at Poplar Oval.
This penman of all things AFL will bring you the workings of the inner gizzards of the Reds Mixed Sevens Team as a native conduit that is part 'Year of the Dog' and as clear as a Dane Swan urine sample.
After that extensive drum-roll introduction, here is the good oil from our man at the Reds;
Royal Park Reds def The Tote by 3 points
'The leadership group have had extensive discussions about "our brand" over the off season... The RPRFC stand for entertaining, selfless and classy football, much like Geelong in '07.
In the first half we did it in a canter. Our new players gelling with our (unspoken) structure like seasoned veterans. A special mention goes to Ruth who's torps were reminiscent of Malcolm Blight at princes park 40 odd years ago.
We toyed with the opposition in the second half. Some might say we let them back in the game, but really we were just keeping it interesting. McGee and Molly presenting up forward like Dunstall and Ablett wearing the Big V.
I look forward to winning the flag. It's a lock.'